#32 Emptiness Is as Emptiness Does

courtesy: Wordpress Blog Random_Michelle

Emptiness is as emptiness does

that’s how you showed me

that somehow, in someway

in some instance,

someone emptied you of love.

Maybe

it was done

by using steady

perpetual care

that diminished your resolve

then abruptly ripped it away

like bolts of lightning

breaking holes

throughout the air

stealing the thunder of your

expectations

till it was confirmed

that there was nothing left

but your

silence…

going the distance

and setting fire

to your dwindling hopes

fanning the smoky flames

higher to ensure it engulfed

all of its remnants,

but;

I could be wrong…

You could just be

the grown version of

a trapped child

that never knew

what freedom meant

inside your home

or within the mind

of innocent

imaginative contentment

A child;

who got used to being

rejected so many times

at the mercy of

some weak person’s

shallow thrills

that rejection is

the only gift descriptive

of the type of love you

know how to sufficiently give…

Contorted but true

to your heart’s twisted rules

that teetered near revealing emotions

and losing control

of the fragility

that lies stuck at the base

of what really is your

debilitated version of truth;

that confuses lust with trust

and grief with joy

struggling to understand

the consequences

between each spectrum

secretly hoping

to find someone,

anyone

to give you simple kind care

and loving attention,

unlike the kind you seem

to incessantly seek

as justification from others

that you are worth the time

and the devotion.

I could be wrong…

But this is what you felt like

many times to me,

like someone who would desperately

settle for even a glimpse

of genuinity,

in between the pieces of your

mournful rage

that overturns furniture

and tears reminders

out of picture frames

and leaves her colourful petals

flaking,

oxidizing gently

under internal loneliness

and unrequited self-love…

I could be wrong,

but I perceive you know that I’m not,

because emptiness is as emptiness does.

My Inspiration: A Chance Meeting & Photo Prompt by Random_Michelle 

 

© KohylahPiper 2015

 

#12 Stages of Parenthood. Observed

courtesy: Krisztián Hoffer

Krisztián Hoffer

Krisztián Hoffercou

Krisztián Hoffer

It is difficult to parent…

You are given these little creatures.

New.

Bundled up.

Your point of reference,

your own past

and the parents you had

bad or good...

as well as these reference books

pages still smelling new

that seemed to be authored by

someone who had the perfect childhood...

and seems quite opinionated 
on what it should be too.
Its surreal how much

you love these little humans.
Yours for a lifetime.

They have you lovers ears,

your smile.

Their first steps towards you...

your joy.

You are trying to do

what you understand as your best

but you are making mistakes,

and as they grow older

you realize that those mistakes

aren’t being missed…

by those eyes that have lost their

fondness for your quirky jokes

and have begun to see that you are not a hero

but a human, 
blatantly faulted.

Your every word becomes recorded

then replayed

making you sound like a dictator

or just 
plain 
retarded.

Their moods are as unsteady

as the trade winds

their silence cause you more hurt

than you ever thought your heart

could hold in…
and that fact isn't

any less true because you don’t

like to admit it.

You’re wiser now

and they in turn have aged;

to a place where they can at least

understand those mistakes you made

were a part of your own lack

of knowledge about what to do

when

trying and failing 
to control individuals

who were so different from you…
yet despairingly similar
You know who they got 
that mean streak from... 

but now its been years since

you’ve been their only personal guide

you’ve given them 
the better years of your life

and it seems they’ve turned out alright...
that is

for adults raised by your hand.
Makes you nostalgic

they’re all pretty stable

and at this point
pretty stable is pretty good

for all the times
you had to make do,
but now you're privileged 
to be able at long last
to sort through the old memories 
while making space for the new. 

There are new tiny faces

that they’ve brought you to meet

with these tiny little fists
 frustrated little grimaces...
soft skin  
awkward little feet .
 You know immediately

 you'll spoil them

through shocked reprimands of

"You'd never let me get away with that"

but these miracles 

 they'll grow up

and without even knowing exact

revenge

absolving your miserable moments

with those who were before them;

this is indeed

the icing on your cake

of contentment... 

  but in this moment

right now

they are the most perfect beings

you have ever touched. 

 They've got your lovers ears, and your smile 
and it feels fantastic,
though you are tired and
have been for quite some time,
you'll find more life to live

just to become acquainted with

 these new persons...

who have your lovers ears,

and your smile.

It feels fantastic.

You've been given a gift

not many have been provided.

To be able to leave

having seen all the variations

of your greatest accomplishments.     

My Inspiration: Parenting 

© KohylahPiper 2015