#69 For Fear of Solitude

courtesy: Serhat Demiroglu

Why this fear

of facing yourself?

being alone...

for once,

without the company of

any 

one 

else.

Why this fear

of being hidden away

in a place where you can consider

your thoughts, your actions

and the words you constantly

say...

Speaking over yourself

speaking over your family

speaking over your friends

speaking over the issues

you’ve created that extends

into the dome that

rests on a ceiling you constructed

where every distraction

lies in between

the image you’ve made

and the person you are 

interested in becoming...

Why are you afraid

of being along with 

your own thoughts?

Are you uncomfortable

with the person you are?

Be.

Still.

Enjoy the awareness of you

and if you don’t...

then

look deeper

though uncomfortable,

to see what 

can be changed

so that you do.

Don’t hide behind

the noise of meaningless

conversations,

social events

that offer no type of solutions

but just distractions 

to keep 

you occupied,

busy lights and voices

that distracts from the

substance that lies on the inside.

Become acquainted with your being.

What have you been using

voluntarily

to prevent you from seeing

into the space where you would meet

yourself for the first time.

Voluntarily blind-

voluntarily living a lie.

maybe if you got to know

who looks back at you, you would

stop all this senseless running

and 

.halt.

Right here;

in this place

where these questions

now listen.

For your reply.

#SELAHSATURDAYS

My Inspiration: Us Humans & Our Lack of Self-Awareness

© KohylahPiper 2016

#45 Regurgitations

painting by Ian McKeever

You say you have.

But you really haven't

I can tell

by the  smothered

  undertones

of your gag reflex

that have become reverberant

Yes.

It hurt.

Yes.

They were wrong.

But their wrongs

have stayed with

you

living between

your bosom

with every passing

wisp of air

you have conditioned

yourself

to ruminate on their songs.

You chew

and rip it

apart,

a stale meal

with fresh wounds

every day,

you reminisce

and murmur

almost hungering

to remember

the words that

you long to hear

echo, from

the belated rebuttals

you now say.

Victim for a moment

has evolved into

a victim for life

that begs

to be wounded

continually

by what

you eagerly

refuse to digest

inside.

Because if its

digested

it will

eventually

be wasted

and if its

wasted

you'll think

that there

was no justice.

But justice

was never founded

on your perceptions.

It was always based

on where you focus

your own direction.

After the fact.

After the pain,

after choosing to

break out of this place

where their aftermath

remained.

For by living through

them

you continually

die,

and its frightening

that you voluntarily

close your eyes to

avoid seeing just

how intimately you've

become adjusted

to this daily suicide.

Your feed

is tainted

devoid of nutrition

harmful

to your soul

slowly decaying

from its

poisoned submissions

that has stunted

your growth

regardless of needing

your admission,

your soul is

slowly decaying

from its

poisoned submissions

that has stunted

your growth

regardless of needing

your admission;

because each day

you willingly welcome

this transient infiltration.

Unable to

Spit. It. Out.

Once and for all.

Face the pain.

Look at where your

chips fell…

so far from where

you intended them to fall.

Now,

step away

and

walk past the shame

of what hurt,

who's to be blamed,

what it was

what it now is.

Your future

was meant to be changed

by the brimstones'

mocking laughter

the sear of the furnace

and the evils of personified disaster;

take the lessons

that this hell has taught you,

and use it to teach another

who you never knew

would need you.

Use the lessons

that this hell has taught you,

and teach another...

how to fight

even though one suffers

how to rise

even though one is lowered

how to smile

even though its over

how to love again

even though before 

it was not

treasured...

how to look at your charred

being

and embrace the light

that still flickers gently

through its smoked filled dreams

that were meant to glow

in the darkest of nights.

Walking away

becomes easier with

each step;

even if

taken shaking

it must be done.

For your destiny,

the one you've shielded

yourself from;

was never

meant to be tied

to your

regurgitations.

My Inspiration: Dinner and a Movie

© KohylahPiper 2015