#20 The Choice

I wish I could pull you out of that rut…

the one you’ve been living in

we all have our own special kind

but its seems that you’ve become

accustomed to staying in

this

dreary atmosphere

you didn’t create

but evolved out of situations in life

and now

you’ve owned it

sitting there

looking into its darkness so long

vacant, alone

you’ve consciously abandoned

then forgot about

that other place

you cherished

called home…

This 
home isn’t the kind

that common walls enclose

it’s not the place associated with

your family’s highs and lows

It’s who you are beneath all of this

confusion and loss

this anger, depression

and cynicism of trust...

It’s the you that existed

in an innocent plot.

It’s the you that

still cradles an essence of love.

It’s the you that is strong enough to

look

.Up...

and

take control of the power

you’ve been given

to get out of that rut

and move on with your life

not looking down again ever

to that hole that you made a haven

of smothered joy

magnified guilt

and aborted prayers

you never believed in enough to utter…

I wish I could pull you out of your rut;

it would be…

my greatest pleasure

but it’s your choice and not my arms,

though outstretched still

that determines if you stay in that gutter.

My Inspiration: Morning conversations

 

© KohylahPiper 2015

#11 Phantom Limb

 courtesy: Gry Poulson

Gone

but not forgotten

It’s been a while…

But lately it feels like

you were lost to me

all of a sudden.

Nerves disjointed

shooting terror

where

nothingness lived

experiencing movements

from a mirage drawn

out of a fatal error

from…within,

claiming that

this distorted member

of my supposed making

was still

a part of me

and tragically

though unseen,

was

furthermore

yet living…

It was

never advertised

preemptively

that you would

only spend

this short while

with me

before you

left quietly

disappearing

as if you were

never even here

irrespective

of the memories

that coloured my tears

into tranquilizers

that couldn’t heal me

or my cares

but just sedate

every sharpened wince

of hurt

that prodded inside

raging all the more

after the effects

were spent…

on the after effects

of the fact that you had left.

Disoriented

in the

continuing aftermath

they said

would eventually end

useless…

their comments

baseless

based on your absence

in the space

where I knew

you had once

been

tiptoeing around

my strain

everyone stretching

themselves thin

because of my

dim understanding

that this sensation

was a farce

created to shield

the most breakable of my

disheveled parts

which were intimately

connected through my grieving.

But

I knew what was real

Though I never did tell

I knew what was real

when the sweat broke

from my brow

and spilled into

five turned fifteen

turned infinite

minutes from hell.

I knew what was real…

but acceptance

was too unkind

That’s why

I’d rather

believe this illusion

in order to

be close

to you.

One last time.

#SELAHSATURDAYS

 My Inspiration: The Women

 

© KohylahPiper 2015