courtesy: Kat Kotrla
When…
did your change begin?
Was it a sudden break
in psyche that separated
your life into two
separate events
barely linking
this blurring void
you became nurtured in
to your former self
and each familiar face
that never recognized
they’d been speaking
all the while to
a different person…
Did this difference
in your thinking
creep insidiously
across the words you hid
their etchings
a graffiti of screaming voices
plastered to the ceiling
hanging within inches
of sanity’s floor
the very place you left
your empty spray painting cans
discarded,
their cluttered buildup
then to progressively ignore.
Why didn’t you say something?
Those moments
when everything seemed sharper
Those times when
you questioned
if the way you felt about this world
was really
the person you were
or a person encountering
a mental crisis…
but you rejected
being self-labeled as a disaster
You could take care of yourself
and this lie became your honesty
even when you
acknowledged in
small, scary moments
that you needed help
out of this drudgery…
but
everyone was fooled
so no one thought to ask
and this was a relief
because if they never did
it meant
maybe nothing was wrong
and this smile you wore
really wasn’t
a thin mask
hardly hiding
a deconstructed farce
as a covering…
Everything was under control
It just wasn’t under yours
and when you realized this
it was already too late
your hands had sprayed
graffiti all over your space
and when that floor
became painted over
it sealed your fate…
Not too long after;
it happened.
You never saw a next morning
Your identity was stolen
and someone else wore your
facial expressions.
And the ones who loved you
were left in shock
wondering
how they could have missed the signs
that really
no one but you
had seen coming…
#SELAHSATURDAYS
My
Inspiration: World Mental Health Day
© KohylahPiper 2015
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