#90 Incredulous

courtesy: +Robert Kirchner

it hits my insides
so violently sometimes...
              if I see something i know you'd like
      phrases you'd find interesting
music...guitar chords
been a while
but finally
i've touched the piano
                   because...
it hits my insides
making them drop.

outwardly,
i've stopped crying
but Lord knows
in my mind
this mourning hasn't stopped:

                 the thing is,
i forget sometimes...
because physically
i hadn't seen you in ages
just pictures
       on social media
       to remind each other of
our changing faces

we hardly spoke till we did
       and when we did
       it was...everything
the alchemist
the last book you sent me
read every word the same day
brain starved for something
        other than the non fictional
        pursuits of the body
I needed to know everyday...

then here comes
the sun
         in the middle of mornings like
these
when randomly i hear
some song you sent me---
you knew my taste so well...
we just liked similar things I guess,

  i've never had an idle conversation
  with you really
you know those types where
there's nothing to say
but people painfully continue talking anyway...?

           you always shared something i never knew
of...

but now here comes
the sun
         moments like these
when I randomly hear
some song you sent me---
              its incredulous
that i'm shocked all over again...
         and as if this knowledge
was newly shared
it hits my insides
so violently.

     you're no longer here
no longer here?
...
     even if I wanted to tell you of
something I thought you'd like to hear
begin one of our conversations,

     or sing you a song...

when last did I sing you a song?

it hits my insides so violently...
and it hurts all
over again.
             but it will go away...
as it always does
             life continues on
          until something reminds me of you
randomly just like today;
and it hits my insides
                 so violently
incredulous...it is
to realise   that you are gone.

 My Inspiration: 22 October 2015

© KohylahPiper 2016